In the last blog I spoke of my own struggles in trying to clean up my language and the internal angst that I felt in not being able to do this.Though I do not like to think of myself as living with “hypocritical behaviour”, only until I “fessed up” was I able to take ownership for it and then begin the process of moving towards more consistent behaviour in both my speech and lifestyle.

The writer James is quite direct in his words. No sense beating around the bush. We all know the inconsistencies of others and internally know them of ourselves. With our tongue “we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be” (3:9-10).

The analogies James uses in 11-12 are designed to draw out a response. How would you respond to such questions? “Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs?” His answer sums up the logic of his questions. “Thus no spring can yield both salt water and fresh”.

So how did I get free? I wish it was as easy as reciting some prayer and it would be somehow removed. Didn’t work that way for me. It began first with my desire to clean up my language. The second thing I did was to seek counsel from one I respected. I determined first not to live in this any longer and then sought counsel. His words to me were simply this, “Read good books”. It sounds simplistic but I accepted his advice. After all why ask if I was not ready to at least try since my way wasn’t working. I began to read authors who used the language well, who were not prone to vulgarities in the written word. The axiom that “bad company ruins good morals” easily finds the converse that “good company enhances good morals”. I chose to hang out with good company.

The third thing that I did was to not allow myself to be drawn back into the overwhelming world of frustration every time I “blew” it. Real change comes in increments, sometimes quicker but many times slower. I decided to work on one word at a time. Because it had become habitual with me to respond in one way, I wanted it to become habitual to respond in another. When I would use the “f” word, rather than ignore or justify it, I would correct it with another wholesome word and kept doing this until I found that over time my first response was not the “f” word but the wholesome word. And my curse list kept getting shorter as I became intentional in this life change. And it was a life change for me. I wanted my words to bring life and blessing, not death and cursing.

Today I am free of that aspect of the behaviour of my early days. But I have not arrived in all areas. That would be untruthful and yes, hypocritical to confess. Yet I use the same principles in bringing my life into more consistency with what I believe and how I live. I refuse to live in condemnation or guilt but seek to live a life that is proactive, wholesome and helpful to others. The same freedom that I have known can be yours as well. Find someone you can trust and have a conversation. It really can be life transformative.

Blessings!