Early in my life I had a foul mouth, what some would call a “potty” mouth. My vocabulary could be quite expressive. Whatever group I was with, especially work colleagues, reflected what kind of words I used. If they flowed with the “f…” bombs I could keep up. If they used a mixture of “f”‘s, “b” or whatever else I could easily hold my own. My colourful language especially would gain a heightened pitch when angry or frustrated. No one would be safe under my torrent of negative language.

In my early 20’s my life changed and I somehow mistakenly thought that my language would change as well. Not so! It seemed like the harder I tried the more intense the battle. The softer I wished my language to be the more harsh it became, especially when frustrated. I lived with tremendous internal conflicts and could not break free.I soon realized that I was not alone in this.

The writer James (3:2) states that this type of battle was not an exclusive club reserved only for me. In fact he says that “we all stumble in many things and if anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body”.The word “perfect” (teleios) would best be translated as “mature”.We all stumble but a mature person is able to bridle the whole body or bring the body under control.

The analogies he uses we relate to quite easily. The bits on horses bring obedience and direction. The rudder on large ships, even with gale force winds blowing, direct the ships. A match (small fire) can kindle a great forest. The analogies quickly flow into his main point. The tongue, though small, can boast great things and is itself a fire, a world of iniquity. Iniquity or unrighteousness, in this case, relates to verbiage that is negative, destructive and demeaning. James reminds us that we seem to be able to bring nature (beasts, birds, reptiles, sea creatures) under control but not the tongue.

“It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our God and Father and with it we curse men, who have been made in the image of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessings and cursing. My brethren, these things out not to be so”. (8-10).

We probably don’t like to use words like “hypocritical behaviour”, especially in the context of ourselves but taking ownership for this inconsistency was  necessary for me to bring about change. Unless I owned up to it, “fessing up”, could I then find the freedom that I so desired. So how did I get free from a lifestyle of destructive language?

Stay tuned and let me show you how you can as well.